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Dear Dad
The Goodbye Letter
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
"Dad."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so
nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her
piercings, tattoos, her skin-tight motorcycle clothes, and because she
is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's
pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a tiny trailer in
the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a
dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we
want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,
so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
You taught me well. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you
can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it
is safe for me to come home. |
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